xxx

That’s 5’2″ of pure love coming your way!

Yesterday I went shopping- I shopped like one possessed, and now I have spent my rent and I STILL need shoes! Didn’t eat all day, then saw Ben in HMV when I was picking up my sister after work. Yes, that Ben. GAH. Ah well, held it together and I looked pretty good, but I doubt it helped my I’m-so-over-you image when I said “Crap” very loudly when I first saw him…hmmm… so I went to the Horse & Jockey with my parents and drank g&ts…and there was a very fit boy there who plays cricket with my dad…might get his number… but poor guy, he was a bit out of it because I got drawn into a conversation about Dylan Thomas and Joyce and Eliot- and he does Economics or Engineering or something. Ah well, not too shabby! I might stalk him on facebook for a bit.

So then I went out to the Open Hearth, and as a direct result of not eating, and drinking far too much, I got horrendously drunk. Amusingly ANOTHER ex was at the pub, and I (foolishly) gave him my number and he has text me 5 times already. This does not bode well, especially as I have only replied twice.

Well anyway, Christmas Day was lovely- got some lush presents-pair of orange Converse, gorgeous jewellery, books (of course, hooray!) and other bits and pieces… all lush. Food was amazing- I made red cabbage, and it was LUSH- I ate the rest of it afterwards YUM. And I had salmon instead of turkey because I am veggie- a bit rubbish now I eat fish, but my joints are horrible and clicky. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Anyway kids, more next time!

Today I have been reading ‘Pamela’ by Samuel Richardson, and, realising that I needed to waste my time more effectively, I thought I’d start a blog. I did have one of these on msn messenger, but I don’t look at it now as most of the entries have to do with me and my (recently) ex-boyfriend planning to go to Thailand together. SO, out with old and in with the new. Shame that hasn’t happened with a man yet. The trouble I have with these things is that I usually forget the password and get locked out of it…but I have written it down and hopefully I’ll retain it.

Erm…I doubt that anyone who doesn’t know me will be reading this thing; in fact, I doubt anyone will read it at all – but just in case, I am 20 (good grief, when did that happen???) and I study English at Oxford, in St Edmund Hall. I’m in my second year- amazingly enough, as I was convinced they were going to throw me out once they’d found out how much of an idiot I am- and also- a personal triumph- I haven’t starved to death yet, although a healthy-looking bursary from my college has prevented this.

I come from a big family- the eldest of four children- 2 brothers and a sister.  The sister has just moved out with her boyfriend, so understandably I feel a little slow off the mark.  However, I have the best dog in the world, who is very comforting and sweet when I am upset- which has been very frequently of late. She puts her chin on your knee when you look sad, which is adorable.

I was with Ben for nearly two years, and I think both of us, however foolishly, believed it was going somewhere.  This makes it all the more difficult to adjust, I think, because if he’s been a horrible person and cheated on me or ignored me or treated me badly, I could have found it easier to accept the end of the relationship. However, he spoiled me rotten and was very easy to get along with- apart from when he was depressed, which was hard to deal with, but he supported me when I started uni and had an awful time, so I should be grateful for having had him, despite it ending.

Well I just stared blankly into space for a while then, so having depressed myself enough, I will sign off and go and pick my little brother up from school.